Dear Victorian Institute of Teaching,
I would value your consideration of the following activities as contributing towards my required number of hours of Professional Development.
Area: Cultural Studies
Nature of Activity: Field Research - discussing the current trend known as "Skylanders"with Year Three boys, including the examination of a poster displaying photos of the "Skylanders".
Time Spent: 10 minutes.
Follow up activity: Confiscating Relocating models of "Skylanders"during class from student's desk to teacher's desk for further examination.
Area: Literacy (Grammar Usage)
Nature of Activity: Networking - reposting on Facebook a witticism about the danger of misusing commas when writing. (Consider: "Let's eat Grandma" as opposed to "Let's eat, Grandma").
Time Spent: 10 seconds.
Follow up activity: Explaining nature of witticism to eight year old daughter.
Area: Literature
Nature of Activity: Real Life Application - applying Dr Seuss Quotes to appropriate situations. For example, looking at the Misses' desk and stating: "And this mess is so big, and so deep and so tall, we cannot pick it up, there is no way at all!"
Time Spent: All. Day.
Follow up activity: Finding a large garbage bag.
With many thanks,
Kirrily
Casual Relief Teacher
So I am four days into my Return to Teaching journey via the delightful method of Casual Relief Teaching. I haven't been in the classroom for almost nine years and there are some things on which I am a little rusty. So as I remerge into the art of kid wrangling in the hope that I might educate some bright young minds (okay, at least one will do) I am sure that I have learnt more than the students.
Particularly given that I am a qualified Secondary Teacher currently relieving in junior Primary classes.
So - here is a random selection of what I have learned so far.
Preps like to hold your hand. All. The. Time. Even on half hour yard duties in 35 degree heat.
Preps will also miss their mums - and you being a mum will not be good enough. No one else's mum is quite like their own. Although a hug might get them through the day.
You will never, ever, ever, EVER do things like the "real" teacher does according to Grade Ones. However - take the class more than once and they just might get used to you using your pen as a mini-microphone and they may even smile at fake messages from a fake friend called Barry that you keep receiving on the fake mobile phone you have confiscated. But don't hold out for a laugh.
You will not be a true Primary teacher until you use the little bell to gain attention or gain silence. And if you do use the bell realise that it will not gain you a free lunch from the canteen.
Dibber-Dobber-Tattle-Tales become tiresome very, very quickly.
He will push her and she will poke him and she will shove him and he will look at her and it will be nobody's fault but the other one started it and when is it snack time anyway?
Random students who you may or may not remember will come up and hug you in the playground.
Never send boys to the toilet together - it will only end with the Head of Primary marching them back into your classroom with a very stern look.
You never call a Prep's bluff if they say they need to go to the toilet. Especially if there is a nasty smell wafting up from below when they ask you if they can be excused to go to the toilet.
And speaking of nasty smells, never give an eight year old boy and activity to do where the main animal in the story is called Fluff - that is just asking for trouble.
